The hard mommy moments.

All moms have them, and I certainly hope we all talk about them. I’m not talking about when your kid won’t leave Target (Or Aldi in my case 😉) without the next giant-made-in-China-toxic-do-NOT-put that-in-your-mouth-truck. Not that those aren’t hard. Especially when you’re tired. And haven’t had enough coffee. And it’s been a long week. Ok, they’re hard…but really what I’m getting at here are those moments where you have no clue what to do. And you’re calling on that mothering instinct that just isn’t firing. And in a split second you’re seeing all the sins of your parents + your 19 year old kid on a therapist’s couch rehashing that one moment where it all went wrong. 

Anyone reading this with children older than Sullivan, no doubt you’re laughing at me. You think it’s hard now, sister, wait for the teens. But either way, perception is reality. It’s real here. The other night, Sullivan hauled off and slapped me in the face. We were having, what I thought, was one of our sweet bedtime moments. He did it a second time. It was hard and it hurt. I have no idea what came over him. I really don’t think he was being malicious, I think he was just being crazy and 2. Whatever it was and whatever mood I was in, it made me cry. I hadn’t the slightest idea how to respond. Do I spank him (we haven’t done that yet), do I scold? Minimize? Get Owen to reprimand on my behalf? Put him in time out? In that brief moment I felt like I was the most inept parent ever and it dawned on me that there will be lots of these moments. I’m sure many I may not remember. In this one, my sweet  Sullivan solved it for me. After slapping me silly he said, “Mommy crying?”, and put his little head on my shoulder and hugged me. It was over, and apparently I had done something right, because my little boy knew how to love me.


The green transition 🌿

I’ve always considered myself “healthy and conscious.” Consistent exercise, well-rounded eating, lots of recycling and hating waste. I mean, I’m a doctor, I know how to eat/live to ward off heart disease, right?!

It wasn’t until the past few years, though, that I really started to care about what was IN my healthy products and home tools. I was completely ignorant. Slowly I educated myself, and I have loved seeing how the changes have actually made my life easier. Not only that, I’ve had so much fun hunting for the best and easiest way to reduce toxins, reduce waste, and keep our family healthy without spending more money or time!

I love sharing about products that boast lasting quality with good purpose. I also love supporting affordable, ethical, fair, honest, transparent and small companies. No one sponsors me. 

  • What we eat

If you live anywhere with a community shared agriculture program, I highly recommend participating. For 3/4 of each year, we pick up a giant weekly box of varied organic produce, easily worth over $35. Total cost averages out to be less than $20/box. We are supporting local farmers, it is clean, high quality food, and we have totally expanded our produce horizons. Not to mention it’s great exercise to run to the market with the BOB and plod back with 10 extra #s 🥕

If you are at all like me, the luxury of strolling through the grocery store and perusing your choices is gone. Sullivan hates it now and so do I. These are by no means “small business supportive” choices, but I’m using the 80/20 rule here for my sanity. I’ve come to very happily rely on Walmart online ordering and Jet. Walmart has quite an impressive selection of paleo and organic that is always competively priced. The associates who do the online pick up orders, at least here, are total dolls. Oh, and it’s FREE. The other thing I hate…unloading groceries. I’d rather clean toilets. That’s where Jet comes in. They leave their lovely purple boxes on my porch full of a variety of things from swim shoes for Sullivan, organic toddler bedding, recycled toddler cutlery and plates, my Sockwell running compression socks, organic dry goods and kitchen textiles, high end organic and toxin free cosmetics, my Himalayan salt lamp, Christmas presents, pet food, and all the other bulk items I hate lugging around. You get the idea. Just found out, too, they do cold packaging for $4.95 an order! Hello organic meat and dairy! Whole Foods, I adore you, but you can’t hang with this. 🧀

Lastly, I’ve started making a lot of things myself #thankyoupintrest. Weekly, I do a batch of protein bars, overnight oats, flavored Greek yogurts, etc. I find the best ingredients for these at Aldi! I do still go in stores, I’ve got to get wine somewhere! 😉 Aldi has a great and $ friendly organic nut, dried fruit, nut butter and snack selection. When this is done, my 5am Wednesday self is so happy with my Sunday afternoon self. 

  • How I clean

This post is getting long, I’ll keep it simple. Vinegar, lemons, salt, castille soap, baking soda, Borax, Simple Green, Branch Basics. Hasn’t failed me yet 👍🏼

  • What goes on my skin

I was horrified to check my products on Skin Deep (check out the app, it is addictive). I knew cleaners had harmful chemicals, but the stuff I was smearing all over my body every day?! Nope. It took some trial and error, but Schmidt’s deodorant, coconut oil, Acure facial cleaners and oils, essential oils, Tarte products – now staples. And guess what, you can find it all on Jet 😊

  • Household tools

Somehow I heard about Mighty Nest and signed up for their $10/month delivery service. You get a new safe/green product each month, always worth more than $10, and I’ve loved every single one. On my own, and with them, I’ve replaced all my toxic non stick cookware, removed almost all plastic, and now rarely use disposable or throw away anything. They also send things like safe mineral sunscreen and household cleaners 🍳

  • Clothing and other purchases 

The hardest and most potentially expensive transition is clothing and other accessory purchases. But not if you look hard enough. Some of the most toxin-soaked clothing we owned were Sullivan’s pjs and my running gear. Thankfully I’ve found Pact organics for staples to slowly replace my running wardrobe. You can’t always find the perfect green/fair/affordable/organic items, so my general rule is I try to hit as many of the following – made in USA, upcycled or consigned, fair trade/living wage, organic, small bunsiness. eBay is great for consigned Hanna Andersson pjs which can be pricey – their quality is outstanding. Frugi is also unbeatable. And if you haven’t noticed, I live finding and trying small shops that advertise via instagram 🎒

For myself and gifts, it’s so fun to find small companies with great purposes. My American Nomad is one I just discovered and I’m obsesssed. That’s one of the purses they source below. There’s a story with each product, and a personal touch that comes with the delivery.

So there it is. At the end of the day, I need to be able to feel good about what I’m what I’m using and/or where I’m getting it! Preferably both!

Happy belated Easter 🙏🏻 I didn’t have any other pictures to add 😉

The thing I thought I’d never do…

I didn’t care about something the other day, and it made me so happy.

I realized the battery in our bathroom scale had been broken for about 2 months. And I didn’t. Even. Care. 

I’ve been through periods in my life where I’ve been more than obsessed, and some where I would just use those stupid little digital numbers to make or break my day. None of that felt good. I don’t know what the transition was or how it came. I’m certain some, or a lot of it, came from becoming a mom…all the sudden I saw myself as strong, food as nourishment (i.e.- necessity) and stretch marks as reminders of a pregnancy that brought me my precious, amazing Sullivan. Part of it is probably growing up (which on my opinion doesn’t happen until your 30s). Oh and PS for me, a perk of feeling strong: I’ve fallen in love with running again and become even stronger because of it.

Whatever it is, I’m beyond thankful. I have a general idea of how much I weigh, but I don’t really care :). Liberation! 

The intro.

I’ve never done this before, but I think 4 years or marriage, 2 years of motherhood, and almost 4 years of a “real job” as a rural primary care doctor demanded an outlet.  Posts will probably be brief, and may not be read by anyone…but if you are, my hope is to create the proverbial village it takes to get through adulting.

I love where we live, I love my husband, I love my kiddo, I love my job…but this shit is hard. I’m an only child, and I’ve been blessed with a sister-in-law who’s like a biological sister to me, I miss her like crazy from NC to TX. My introverted self has a handful of solid, amazing, can’t even be described in words girlfriends. My oldest friends are scattered over the country. Fostering adult friendships is so, very hard, but the ones I’ve made since our little family moved here are irreplaceable. I am so blessed.

I am so blessed, and I am still figuring things out. My marriage is God-given and beautiful, but we have so far to go. The past 4 years at times have been the biggest struggle we’ve experienced this far in life. We will get it. At times I feel hopeless, then My Heavenly Father turns my little faithless heart around.

That is me and where I am, and I look forward to less melancholy and broody posts very soon 🙃IMG_0537 Continue reading “The intro.”